Single Mom By Choice – Part 17: If you build it, they will come!

“If you build it, they will come” – not only did God say that to Noah, but who doesn’t love that line in Field of Dreams!!

“If you build it, they will come”

After over a year of trying to have a baby, I decided to change things up a bit and that quote inspired me.

For the last 15 months, I’ve been thinking that once the baby comes, I will have to move. I presently live in 650sf, on the second floor, up a tiny staircase and despite that being ok for 9 months of pregnancy – and even maybe once the baby is here and before he/she starts crawling – I want to have an actual bedroom for this child! I have been looking weekly but nothing really pulled at my heart strings.

Actually one place had. In July 2017, I saw this cute little house in Pointe St-Charles. However, it was 549,000$ and had the train passing in the backyard. That price was to be expected for a house, with a yard, seven minutes from downtown Montreal. However, that is far from what my single salary budget can afford. Why not look off island? Well, I want to be on island! I won’t have a partner to help with everything, so I want to at least be close to home, work, daycare and it all. So I kept looking.

I was in no rush to buy. I could have the baby before the house. However, the baby wasn’t coming. And being me (!!) I thought it was time to change things up! Get the house and then have the baby! “If you build it, they will come”

Well, it looks like the universe heard me loud and clear… Almost 15 months after seeing that first house (and starting this process), I found a place on the exact same street as that original house in the Pointe. Priced at a price that I could afford. I put in a bid and I got it (with the help of a feisty real estate agent)! I was shocked though when, a couple of days later, the inspector found major problems… after analyzing my situation closely, I came to the conclusion that it was still a great opportunity.

I am a believer in the “power of the universe” and, in this case, it seems like things that were put into play a decade ago are now helping me build a house for my future family. Let me elaborate, as I think it is such a cute story (and you get to see how my brain works!):

My father died 10 years ago. With the inheritance, I bought a condo for my then-serious boyfriend and me. Before we got to move in, he was transferred to Winnipeg. I was quickly able to get a job there and made the decision to split my downpayment in order to buy a place for us in Winnipeg and rent out the one in Montreal. We broke up. I ported that Winnipeg mortgage to Ottawa. I then got offered a job back in Montreal and ported the mortgage again. Ten years later, I was set up to be able to refinance one place and sell the other to buy/pay for this new home & its needs. Also, if I had not fallen in love with that other house last year, I wouldn’t have known about this cute street or neighbourhood. Isn’t that just too serendipitous? To make this story even more “it was meant to be”, I only found this place when I was in the neighbourhood with a friend – wanting to show her that previous house (which has since sold), we drove up the street and saw the FOR SALE BY OWNER sign in the window of what is my new home! Without all those little life moments, I wouldn’t have found, been able to buy nor renovate this house today! Ahhh the universe! What a powerful thing!

Maybe too powerful! I know I said build it and they will come but I didn’t literally mean BUILD IT!! However, that is what I will be doing! A HUGE renovation project. Scary? Yes! Especially knowing that it’s a century old home. Exciting? Even more! Plus, it’s my only way to afford a house, in that neighbourhood, with a yard, seven minutes from downtown Montreal. Furthermore, I get to see something I will put tears and sweat in come to life. I will get to make something concrete that will literally house my future family. I will get to be hands on (and hands off) in another crazy – yet beautiful – project!

I shall built it! We will see if they shall come!

***Side note:***

I was going to write another blog called “Run Kim Run” — where I was going to talk about the fact that I haven’t been able to run during the last 12 months of treatments and how my mental game weakened with every “not pregnant”. It’s hard to stay on top of things when you are drowning in your emotions. When I decided to go the embryo route and that my body had yet to give me a beautiful enough lining to attempt implanting the embryos, I also decided that I was going to prove to myself that it is mind over matter and that I was stronger than even I could muster to believe. I registered to the half-marathon that I had done every year since 2014 and, without training, ran past that start line last weekend.

It wasn’t easy… a year of no consistent exercise. Hormones. Weight gain. Depressive moments. Every kilometre came with a memory of the last year and a thought for what I had gone through. I walked when I couldn’t run, told myself to give it 10 minutes at a time and then take a break, kept reminding myself that it was mind over matter and that I wasn’t one to give up. I even thought about taking a bixi or cheating!! But I kept repeating: “I don’t care how long it takes, but you are crossing that finish line little lady”. Well, I walked more than I ran as of kilometre 14, but I tapped that KM 20 marker and forced enough energy out of me to run the last 1.1km. It took 2:45:02 for me to cross that finish line and feel the proudest that I had been in years. I had 21.1km of cramps, thoughts, highs and lows… 21.1km of reflection and anticipation. 21.1km to press restart on life. I proved to myself that where there is a will, there is a way. Hey – I heard somewhere that “If you build it, they will come”! 😉

9 thoughts on “Single Mom By Choice – Part 17: If you build it, they will come!

Add yours

  1. I just love you and adore you Kim, I, You and many other women out there fight every second for something! We never give up, we never get weak! Keep fighting dear sister in power, you can Do It! God bless you now and always!
    I am a single mom of a beautiful young daughter (10 years old) who born in Canada, I am a new immigrant in Montreal from almost 2 years, trust me fighting every day and lost in the french language most of time….off lots to say and lots to be done! A beautiful story of life in all of Us!
    I love you ❤️! And when I say I love you I mean for who you are and the inspiration you are giving to all of us! 💐

  2. Congratulations, way to go, you look as exhilarated as I do when I am leaving my gym. 24 km!! Wow, I can barely do 5 km, although it’s my trainer’s dream for me to enter a run one day – I am not a runner – unless something or someone is chasing me!

    How exciting about your new home, I did something somewhat the same route you did. I started off in a teeny apartment, and my daughter arrived a few weeks before we were able to move into a brand new – newly built cooperative housing complex. We got the last unit, and I loved living there. The independence, my little home, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, main floor laundry. I had a basement, but didn’t use it for much other than storage. We lived there for 2 years until I got married – because it was a co-op, they were basing my rent on my income, so I was paying a subsidy since I was a single parent. Hugs to you, Kim

  3. Despite a few years of watching your remarkably cheerful persona during my morning coffee, I had no idea of the personal challenges you have been going through. I have to say yours is a story of courage and inspiration, good for you for going after your dreams and sharing both the pain and elation with such honesty and integrity.
    You have a beautiful smile that could warm the coldest of days, there is no question in my mind that you will soon find all that your heart desires. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I have been blessed with a wonderful family, and I wish nothing but the same for you Kim. It’s worth every second pursuing. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck !

  4. Despite a few years of watching your remarkably cheerful persona during my
    morning coffee, I had no idea of the personal challenges you have been going
    through. I have to say yours is a story of courage and inspiration, good for you
    for going after your dreams and sharing both the pain and elation with such
    honesty and integrity.
    You have a beautiful smile that could warm the coldest of days, there is no
    question in my mind that you will soon find all that your heart desires. You are
    a beautiful person, inside and out. I have been blessed with a wonderful family,
    and I wish nothing but the same for you Kim. It’s worth every second pursuing.
    Thanks for sharing, and best of luck !

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